My biggest aspiration when I was heavy was to be a “ten”, as I lost weight that goal remained the same. I know, it’s shallow, but I was programmed to think that’s what would make me happy. I just always wanted to be the hot girl in the bar, not the second-string fat girl of the group that boys never wanted to buy drinks for.
Well… this week I realized I am not a ten.
THAT IS BECAUSE I AM NOT A NUMBER ON A LINE.
I get teary writing this because I know for certain I was brainwashed into thinking I was. At size 22, I thought that FAT was who I was. Now, at size 10, THIN is not who I currently am either. So if I’m not a ten, not fat and not thin… I guess I’m just me.
It makes me mad the world is obsessed with labels when life can’t be put into categories. It’s not about hot or ugly. The ugliest girls can be hot and the hottest girls can be ugly. Maybe it’s all cheesy but damn, self love is important to being a happy human.